she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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