i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
