Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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