I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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