I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Randomize
