I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
