I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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