just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
