I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
