I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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