I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
