Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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