Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
