I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize