Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
