Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
