Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
