Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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