When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
