forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
