Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
