and you said cock pushups were impossible
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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