i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
