I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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