it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
