I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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