In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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