do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
