She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
A+ Viking dick
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
