i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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