She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
