Your dad touched me again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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