flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
