I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
