haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
sex in a hospital.. check
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
