Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize