doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
