i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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