She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
