If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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