R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
