come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize