ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
