Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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