that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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