Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize