So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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