Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
