once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
