Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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