I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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