I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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