This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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