I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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