So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
