If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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