You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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