If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
